The Kitchen
by Blue Eyed Knight
Summary: Spoons had made The List for a reason. The kitchen belonged to him, and if a sneaky ninja just didn't seem to get it, then Spoons was going to have to show him.


It's a well known fact that floors cannot talk.

They also cannot sing, play the guitar, tap dance or cook. They cannot go out and pick up a bag of milk when you are running low. They cannot play go fish, do the dishes, change a light bulb, or paint a picture.

Floors don't make very good friends.

If, however, you are stuck in a ventilation shaft, the floor might be the only thing keeping you alive. Or, more precisely, keeping you from falling to your death.

Snake Eyes was stuck.

* * *

"No."

_Please?_

"No. Now stop asking me. You know very well why Spoons won't let you in the kitchen by yourself. If you want someone to go with you, ask Duke."

_Duke told me to ask you._

Breaker sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. He really didn't want to deal with this right now. He had a lot of work to do and having a bored and hungry ninja wasn't helping any.

"Snake, you have no one but yourself to blame for your current predicament. If you really want to make some cookies, go ask Spoons to help you. If you promise to do as he says and stay within his line of sight I'm sure he'd let you."

_Wrong. I have you to blame for my current predicament. If you had deleted the security footage like I asked you to, this wouldn't have happened. Besides, Spoons said if he ever saw me by myself anywhere near The Kitchen he would never ever, ever, __**ever**__ let me have anything that could possibly contain sugar as long as I was part of this team._

"Then don't let him see you."

* * *

The ventilation system at JOE base was a thing of both horror and beauty. During his first week here, Snake had found that the vent system connected all floors and all rooms. Several of the ducts were too small for anything bigger than a mouse.

Many of them, however, were large enough for a man to crawl through.

He and Tunnel Rat had thoroughly explored the vents with the thought that if an emergency ever arose where they couldn't travel through the base like they normally would, they would have a different rout to most areas of the base.

They also used it for hiding from various people who might or might not have a valid reason to be angry at them.

After checking the map he and Tunnel Rat had created, Snake entered the system with the intention of making it to the most forbidden zone in the entire base.

The Kitchen.

* * *

To everyone else it was just the kitchen. To Snake, it was The Kitchen. The one area (besides the girls quarters) that he wasn't allowed to go. Numerous events had led to him first losing the privilege to clean, then not being allowed to cook, then being forbidden to enter without a supervisor, then not being allowed to enter without a supervisor and an appointment with Spoons.

Spoons was in charge of The Kitchen. Whenever a new green shirt got kitchen duty, Spoons would take them through The List. The List was designed to keep people and The Kitchen safe, and was posted on the doors, the walls, and in the mess hall too.

1. Snake Eyes is not allowed in the kitchen.

2. If you see Snake Eyes in or around the kitchen area, call for help.

3. There will be no fighting or playing with the kitchen equipment.

4. Do not give Snake Eyes any kitchen equipment.

5. Wash your hands when you enter the kitchen.

6. Try to keep the kitchen clean.

7. Do **NOT** let Snake Eyes help clean the kitchen.

8. If you break something, tell someone.

9. Snake Eyes is _**NOT ALLOWED IN THE KITCHEN**_.

10. No sleeping in the sinks.

After he went through The List, he would have them take a small test to see if they understood the rules. More often then not they passed the test, which consisted of a single question: Is Snake Eyes allowed in the kitchen?

The correct answer was _**NO.**_

Spoons really didn't want Snake Eyes in the kitchen.

Snake had made it to the ducts above The Kitchen when disaster struck. The vent in front of him collapsed and fell through the ceiling into the kitchen below.

Right in front of Kitchen Commander Spoons.

Snake Eyes was stuck.

* * *

**A/N** I do plan on continuing this story, and if this chapter seems a bit short I apologize. I would love feedback, comments, reviews, or just anything really.


End file.
